umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
