so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
