You work out of a Hotel?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
