i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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