is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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