I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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