Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
