I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
