Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
