Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
