We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
