I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
