I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
