I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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