Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
