i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
