Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
