I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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