I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
