something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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