Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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