PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?