Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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(212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv

Replies (22) Good night (1345) Bad night (1016)
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(925): View more from California

im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?

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(925): im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going? http://tfl.nu/wvih

Replies (65) Good night (5115) Bad night (1571)
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(623): View more from Arizona

listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.

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(623): listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville. (202): Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am. http://tfl.nu/fp1i

Replies (19) Good night (5547) Bad night (1059)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.

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(814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out. http://tfl.nu/nbi4

Replies (12) Good night (8928) Bad night (1649)
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(907): View more from Alaska

She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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(907): She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex http://tfl.nu/o751

Replies (18) Good night (4053) Bad night (1285)
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(813): View more from Florida

His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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(813): His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up. http://tfl.nu/2dvo

Replies (1) Good night (2752) Bad night (890)
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(415): View more from California

And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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(415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec

Replies (9) Good night (2963) Bad night (829)
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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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(340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees

Replies (25) Good night (4004) Bad night (1327)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

Replies (20) Good night (1283) Bad night (3270)
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(716): View more from New York

Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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(716): Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug. http://tfl.nu/908k

Replies (3) Good night (1438) Bad night (753)
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(619): View more from California

We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?

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(619): We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!? http://tfl.nu/jmdl

Replies (9) Good night (1471) Bad night (556)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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(256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk

Replies (0) Good night (1308) Bad night (515)
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(713): View more from Texas

She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.

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(713): She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience. http://tfl.nu/a6s4

Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (623)
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(310): View more from California

I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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(310): I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed. http://tfl.nu/5cad

Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (315)
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(212): View more from New York

Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP

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(212): Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP http://tfl.nu/utcx

Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (312)

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