Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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  (412): my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR http://tfl.nu/zpxr
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (886)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.

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  (859): I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum. http://tfl.nu/asaw
  Replies (36) Good night (2774) Bad night (690)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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  (617): i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it. http://tfl.nu/hw4z
  Replies (105) Good night (7536) Bad night (1915)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.

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  (403): I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/eq2k
  Replies (38) Good night (5235) Bad night (1059)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.

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  (702): I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high. http://tfl.nu/9ove
  Replies (27) Good night (1281) Bad night (5076)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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  (505): I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness http://tfl.nu/jgsm
  Replies (8) Good night (2499) Bad night (839)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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  (845): He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up. http://tfl.nu/zpkp
  Replies (3) Good night (2563) Bad night (851)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

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  (917): He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman. http://tfl.nu/emjq
  Replies (5) Good night (2733) Bad night (692)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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  (607): I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud! http://tfl.nu/toc7
  Replies (7) Good night (4037) Bad night (679)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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  (952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09
  Replies (12) Good night (1296) Bad night (506)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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  (845): I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings http://tfl.nu/ny97
  Replies (12) Good night (753) Bad night (878)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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  (202): Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox. http://tfl.nu/f55t
  Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (550)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (478)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk

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  (315): Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk http://tfl.nu/g5v5
  Replies (1) Good night (752) Bad night (259)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.

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  (618): So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record. http://tfl.nu/cgr4
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (246)

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