Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment