Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)

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  (650): I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-) http://tfl.nu/fk4n
  Replies (13) Good night (1883) Bad night (583)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what to say to that.

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  (614): I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC. (1-614): I'm not sure what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/ot0k
  Replies (29) Good night (691) Bad night (2620)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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  (318): Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/wfb6
  Replies (15) Good night (3558) Bad night (762)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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  (203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop
  Replies (17) Good night (1195) Bad night (4542)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

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  (407): This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper. http://tfl.nu/m3p5
  Replies (9) Good night (2272) Bad night (1042)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

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  (704): the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond. http://tfl.nu/ueo3
  Replies (7) Good night (2216) Bad night (965)
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2175) Bad night (694)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.

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  (802): lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships. http://tfl.nu/002a
  Replies (10) Good night (1995) Bad night (1014)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

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  (802): If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care. http://tfl.nu/zmsa
  Replies (11) Good night (1105) Bad night (1891)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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  (847): I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side http://tfl.nu/k88p
  Replies (12) Good night (2061) Bad night (734)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.

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  (403): But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though. http://tfl.nu/bq7u
  Replies (10) Good night (961) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.

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  (615): Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success. http://tfl.nu/5s34
  Replies (4) Good night (1496) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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  (615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois
  Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (369)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains

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  (302): Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains http://tfl.nu/rusa
  Replies (6) Good night (1426) Bad night (527)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.

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  (901): You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM. http://tfl.nu/iytk
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (503)

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