Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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