I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
