I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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