piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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