Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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