i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
