I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
