She is in my trunk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
