cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
