Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
