Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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