Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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