He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
