We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
