Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
