You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
