I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
