before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
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I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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