we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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