There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
