Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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