Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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