So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
