Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
