i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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