I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
