where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
