what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
