Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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