Plan B is the new Plan A
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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