If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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