Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
