i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
