Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
