she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
