I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
