I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
