Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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