I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
