Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Houston, we have a squirter
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
