I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Drake has all the answers
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
