NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
