Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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