I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
