dude i'm inner monologue high
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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