don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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