oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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