He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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