Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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