someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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