Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
