OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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