He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
